What to do when dating doesn’t feel magical and fun?

John Doe
Relationship tips

Do you find yourself having a really difficult time when it comes to dating?

Do you find yourself in situations when everyone seems to be getting attention whilst you don’t get any?

Do you find yourself panicking that romance will just not happen to you?

The reality is that some people simply have an easier time dating than others. Whilst some seem to always have a love interest around others have to put up with the disappointment of being “overlooked” or “rejected “.

So if you are someone who doesn’t get a lot of attention or have much luck in dating, it may be the right time to delve a bit deeper into the reasons why this is happening.


Firstly, accept that it is natural to feel discouraged at times, and remember that everyone’s dating journey is unique. There is no point comparing yourself to someone else and deciding that they are lucky and you are not or they are “better” than you.

Rather, take the time to check out what their life path is and how they go about achieving what they set out to achieve! Maybe their choices are easier to find, or they may go for a different kind of relationship than the one you are looking for. Or they may put effort into getting what they want.

Because the reality is that dating, like everything else in life needs to be an enjoyable process but at the same time it requires a certain self-awareness as well as a willingness to put the effort into getting what we want the same way we need to put the effort in achieving anything we set ourselves up to accomplish.

So, some of the basic rules of the preparation for a successful dating experience are:

  1. Check out your Confidence levels. Although it sounds like an easy enough exercise, in reality, it is not. Most people have confidence in some areas of their lives and not in others. Many think they don’t deserve to have confidence when in reality they have worked hard enough to have earned the right to confidence, but they don’t realise it. Others may have gone through bad situations that have shuttered their confidence. Whatever the case it is of utmost importance to ensure that you build a healthy confidence, as this is the number one tool when it comes to presenting yourself to the world and especially to potential dates.
  2. Focus on self-care: look after your body and mind and pursue your passions. If you feel very bad about a part of yourself then seek professional help if needed. You will then ascertain whether it is something you can fix or get help in accepting it.
  3. Work on your communication skills if you find you have limitations. They will help you create connections that are an integral part when it comes to dating. Or if you have a social circle, connect only with positive friends who will be there to offer you both emotional and practical support in this difficult time in your life.
  4. Have patience. Finding love takes time, and it’s important to maintain a positive outlook while being patient with yourself. If you have any time-related factors bothering you such as feeling pressure from your close environment to settle or feeling the time to have a child is running out etc then put boundaries to those pressurising you or find practical solutions to prolong any time restraints.