If you have your sights on someone special, you might be wondering if there are proven ways to get them to love you back. While the answer may not be as black and white as you’re hoping, here’s what relationship experts want you to know about how to make someone fall in love.
What makes people fall in love with each other.
Love is defined as “an intense feeling of deep affection,” according to the Oxford English Dictionary. According to clinical psychologist Kristina Hallett, Ph.D., research into the nature of human intimacy suggests there are actually two types of “love”: One is passionate love, or what we think of as romantic love, and includes attraction and sexual desire (i.e., lust). The other is known as attachment, which occurs between bonded pairs like a mother and child but also develops in long-term relationships.
True, wholehearted love, as some people call it, is a beautiful fusion of that passionate love and attachment that evolves over time.
According to clinical psychologist Bobbi Wegner, Psy.D., when those three main components are present—attraction, lust, and attachment—people are more likely to fall in love.
“Attraction is what it sounds like: a curiosity, interest, or a liking for someone,” she explains. “Lust is a strong sexual desire for someone, and attachment is an emotional bond between two people.” As two people become emotionally closer, they seek that intimacy and feel more secure when with the other person, she adds.