Getting out of the “Friend zone”

John Doe

The “friend zone” is a term used to describe a situation where one person is romantically interested in another, but the other person only sees them as a friend. If you find yourself in this situation, here are some tips that may help:

First of all you need to distance yourself from your feelings in order to see what brought friend-zone about:

1. Are you really romantically compatible with the person you have feelings for? Not on a friendship level. On what an emotional and physical attraction means to you both. Or what type of mate each of you is looking for. Do you think the other side finds the two of you compatible? Or is there any element of wishful thinking lurking about? Try not to put judgement on their preferences because it is what it is and it is their prerogative to live the life they want to live. Don’t make them feel guilty. They may end up giving you mixed signals out of guilt which eill only waste your time.

2. Is timing on your side? Some people are very particular about their time management, especially when it comes to life decisions or goals. So if the person you may have romantic feelings for is at a stage in their life where romantic or serious relationships are out of their time-frame, they may not be willing to give a relationswith you a chance. You will need to respect their life decisions even if you know they are the “wrong” ones.

3. Are you the kind of person that offers a friendship that is very valuable to a “friend”? The person you have feelings for, may not want to risk a valuable friendship by pursuing a romantic relationship. They may worry that if things do not work out romantically, the friendship will be ruined. So, it may be a good idea to get to know yourself a bit better about how you deal with friendships. If, in order to fall in love with someone, you first need to know them really well, do keep in mind that should you discover on the way that you have fallen for them it may be hard to pick your heart and go. Also if you give your everything to a friendship you may indeed make it harder for someone willing to risk losing it.

4. Some people are flirty, others have a need for approval or self-validation. A few individuals can have narcissistic tendencies. Others may be getting over a relationship and need a shoulder to cry on. There are many reasons why someone may give another person mixed signals about their feelings. It is not your problem and it is not your job to fix their problem. What you need to do instead is to protect yourself from such individuals as they can be toxic.

4. If you really feel that the person you are interested in, may have romantic feelings for you too, but you don’t have the courage to let them know then you may need at your assertiveness levels.

Remember, getting out of the friend zone may not always be possible. Sometimes the person of your interest may be in the same group of friends. They may be a colleague of yours or a person you have close links with. This may it much more difficult for you to take the space you may need to get over your feelings for them. Nevertheless, try to give yourself as much space as you can. If being around the other person is too difficult, consider taking some space or time apart to process your emotions and feelings. You may even have to take some drastic decisions such as leaving a hob or distancing yourself from a certain group of people for a while, however painful that may be. Last but most important: Focus on yourself. Pursue your interests and hobbies, and build a fulfilling life outside of the friendship. Expand your social circle and meet new people. This can help you gain a new perspective and find a new romantic interest.