Are you ready for love, but you keep attracting the same unavailable or incompatible partners?
Do you feel like the “right” ones just aren’t showing up on your menu? Or maybe, it feels like there are no good men left? The truth is that there’s a proven way to find love and finding that special someone can become your reality. While there is nothing wrong with being single, if you’re ready for love, you must make a change.
Don’t forfeit the idea that you can and deserve love in your life. Love is a basic and fundamental need, and if we are being honest with ourselves, we all have an intense desire to be nurtured and loved. Here are 10 ways you can begin your journey towards love:
1. Be realistically picky
There is a major difference in having high standards and unrealistic ones. Many women get stuck dating because they have pigeon holed themselves with such a small laser beam of opportunity. Having an open mind is essential to dating success.
Be clear on the essence of the man you wish to call in, and release the checklist of the mundane and superficial qualities. Integrity, reliability, drive, habits and goals trumps height and hair color.
2. Be the best version of yourself
I want you to take a moment and really think about this…
- Would you date yourself?
- Can you carry an intelligent conversation?
- Can you make friends easily and actually keep them?
- Do you have good fashion?
- Do people like you when they meet you?
- Are you a good listener?
- Are you passionate?
- Do you have a positive outlook on life?
Whether you are male or female, these are all traits we commonly look for in our potential partners. Do you possess them? You can.
When you experience life, you have so much more to contribute to conversations, making others gravitate towards you because they are intrigued. It all starts and ends with you.
Get out into the world, and start enjoying your life. Many of us fall victim to becoming beings of routine. We come home from work, plunk ourselves down on the couch and turn on the TV. The more activities you do, the better you will get to know yourself and the more interesting and confident you will become. You will understand clearly the type of person you wish to become.
3. Make your dating vision
A dating dating is having a picture of who you want to be and how you want to feel in your future. You don’t need to know all of the specifics, just the essence of how you want to feel and show up. Your purpose is to learn and grow. It is essential to get different relationship results. Vision is so important to connect to so that you continue to feel that inspiration and that pull motivation.
- How do I want to feel in a relationship?
- How do I want my partner to feel in a relationship?
- What values do I want my partner to have?
- How do I want my partner to feel about me in a relationship?
4. Upgrade your menu
Often who shows up on our dating menu is who we are familiar with. For example, if you grew up in a toxic household, you will likely attract toxic relationships. If you have a history attracting and choosing emotionally unavailable men, you will continue to meet these types of men, in fact…until you do the work to break the patterns and consciously choose a different ‘type’.
It’s very common while dating, especially if coming from a past of toxic relationships that harmony may feel uncomfortable or dull, as it is unfamiliar. It is new frontier. Often sabotage will occur because of this. It takes time to form new neural nets and to release old patterns so that new experiences in alignment with your desire can be accepted.
5. Connect to your internal compass
Due to blind spots and undiscovered limiting beliefs, some women have fallen into a habit of attempting to connect with men who can never offer them what they want, which is an authentic, healthy, long-term partnership. This can be referred to as having a ‘broker picker’.
Until the inner work is done, these women will remain stuck in this pattern of unfulfilling and emotionally painful patterns.
In learning to choose and commit to partners consciously, notice where they put emphasis: is it on being funny, their astrological sign, their family, their hopes and dreams, or is it on complaining? Where do his priorities lie? What does he spend most his time doing?
6. Be authentic
Don’t hide behind a mask or pretend you are something you are not in hopes of gaining approval or acceptance – this is compromising yourself and doing so only prolongs the inevitable. You cannot sustain a mask, nor will you be fulfilled doing so.
The most authentic version of yourself is the only version that can feel real love.
Think about what you love before you head out on a date. What topics of conversation interest you? What are you passionate about? What do you want him to know about you?
7. Rewrite your story
In life, we experience events such as our parents’ divorce, we go through a breakup, we get cheated on, lied to, rejected, etc. – these are all events that hurt our self-perceived worth. As a subconscious protective measure, we form stories about what happened in our lives, and these stories often interpret reality in a way that softens the blow to our self-worth.
Uncover deeply hidden fears by knowing what story you tell yourself and begin healing those fears by rewriting your story.
These stories, or interpretations of past events, lead us to adopt beliefs that may help us stay safe from emotional pain, and what we’d need to do to fulfill our emotional needs, like your need for connection or intimacy. It is important to go from living in an unconscious way to a way that is truly aware and awakened by illuminating these subconscious stories, and allowing ourselves to have the relationships we desire.