A common theme that keeps coming up is the idea that playing it “cool” gets better results than stating your intentions. We all had at least one friend tell us to “play it cool” when we told them about a possible new romance. It’s a piece of advice that’s almost as old as dating itself, and it’s based on the idea that if you act like you’re not eager for the relationship, you suddenly become irresistible.However, nowadays this advice belongs to the old school of dating. Today, people are far too complicated to simplify things like this. They also have a lot more stimuli on what is right to ask of a new relationship and for sure finding someone who reciprocates their feelings does feel more healthier. A new study by IDC Herzliya psychology professor Gurit Birnbaum shows that people find others who mirror their romantic interest more sexually attractive.Not wanting to show your feelings or running after someone whose main interest is playing it cool, may be a red flag that you are vulnerable to toxic relationships and you may end up attracting people who are inappropriate for you.If you are the one who likes to play it cool, check out whether deep down you have some unresolved trust issues. People may protect themselves from the possibility of a painful rejection by distancing themselves from potentially emotionally risky situations. Also, keep in mind that instead of gaining the attention of someone you like, you may end up just looking simply as if you’re not interested, and you might lose them as a result.All in all, the best rule to follow is to try to be genuine and communicate your intentions clearly, but at the same time be mindful of not overwhelming the other person. Being open about your intentions can foster honesty and trust. However, if you feel it entails the risk of coming across as too intense early on, then take “things slow” instead of “playing it cool”. Ultimately, finding a balance between expressing your interest and respecting the other person’s pace is key.
State my intentions or play it cool?
A common theme that keeps coming up is the idea that playing it “cool” gets better results than stating your intentions. We all had at least one friend tell us to “play it cool” when we told them about a possible new romance. It’s a piece of advice that’s almost as old as dating itself, and it’s based on the idea that if you act like you’re not eager for the relationship, you suddenly become irresistible.However, nowadays this advice belongs to the old school of dating. Today, people are far too complicated to simplify things like this. They also have a lot more stimuli on what is right to ask of a new relationship and for sure finding someone who reciprocates their feelings does feel more healthier. A new study by IDC Herzliya psychology professor Gurit Birnbaum shows that people find others who mirror their romantic interest more sexually attractive.Not wanting to show your feelings or running after someone whose main interest is playing it cool, may be a red flag that you are vulnerable to toxic relationships and you may end up attracting people who are inappropriate for you.If you are the one who likes to play it cool, check out whether deep down you have some unresolved trust issues. People may protect themselves from the possibility of a painful rejection by distancing themselves from potentially emotionally risky situations. Also, keep in mind that instead of gaining the attention of someone you like, you may end up just looking simply as if you’re not interested, and you might lose them as a result.All in all, the best rule to follow is to try to be genuine and communicate your intentions clearly, but at the same time be mindful of not overwhelming the other person. Being open about your intentions can foster honesty and trust. However, if you feel it entails the risk of coming across as too intense early on, then take “things slow” instead of “playing it cool”. Ultimately, finding a balance between expressing your interest and respecting the other person’s pace is key.
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